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we lie,
we slander,
we make everyone famous,
we are warholed.
we are everywhere
we are all you have left
we will not sit by whille citizens of this planet get slaughtered for material gain

On This Day in 1917

Robert Walser said to Vladimir Lenin

"So you, too, like fruitcake?"

WalserLenin

Afghanistan The MOVIE!

Posted DEC 31, 2008

In order to counter waning viewer interest in the country the Afghani Ministry of Culture has announced a deal with Miramax films to put them back on the front page.
Shia LeBoeuf has agreed to star in this epic movie about a slacker living on the outskirts of Kabul The movie takes place over 8 years, beginning with the young star playing an angst riden teenager during the original bombing of the capital. It then follows him through to the present day.

Watch the star deal with girls, school, an overbearing father and a sympathetic regional warlord in this fun take on the teenage experience!

CNN, Showtime and Fox are all in the running to turn this next big hit of 2009 into a series , or at least mini series.

According to Showtime VP Branch Legace " This could be bigger than Dexter. It's like Californication of the middle east, only without the negative role models"

these forces are dreamy

STEVE READ DIES!!!

Posted MARCH 1 2008

We at slanderous have broken our silence. After 6 months of waiting and watching we can now pronounce Steve Read DOA at the age of 36.

The artist Steve Read of Denver Colorado has died from complications of a skin disorder that had left him virtually helpless and homeless.

In his last hours Steve made peace with his maker, Starbucks, and will be featured on a new CD compilation disc that includes performances by Feist, Kenna, Steve Reich and Gary U.S. Bonds.

Proceeds from the sale will go to support his internet presence on the www. Please make all cheques payable to:

Joe Edit

PO Box 4122 Stn B
Toronto
M75 2d3

we will miss you Steve, online forever.


STEVe looks peacefully in his final resting place. we had to leave him on the
ground, we couldn't afford a plot...

T.WHID STARS IN DRUNK VID

Posted May 06, 2007.

A video surfaced on the Internet showing a boozed up T.Whid swaying while he attempts to communicate with M. River.
In the video, taped by Marisa Olsen, Whid is despondent while the Rhizomer pleads with him to stop drinking. "T., you have to promise me you're not going to get alcohol tonight, OK? ... You hear me? No alcohol," says Olsen in the film.
In a statement, the Rhizome alum said: "I am a recovering alcoholic... Unfortunately, I did have a brief relapse, but part of recovery is relapse." The 34-year-old artist went into rehab a few years ago for his liquor addiction. Whid had his friends tape him when he's drunk so he can study his behavior


But is he really that buff...? who cares about the addiction.., well here we think he looks spanking good.

BRAD BRACE IGNORED ONCE AGAIN.

Posted April 30, 2007.

At Slanderous we rarely champion net artists, they just don't need us. But with Brad Brace we find ourselves at a loss. We know he has generated a number of original and important works and given freely to the Net Arts Community. Yet his combative personality and long standing feud with Art/Rat establishment figures has worked against him over the years. The Canada Council hates him thanks to his relationship with Tom Sherman (a former arts officer receiving a major grant!!!! That's not OK even at the Enquirer ), and so do most academics. Is there a conspiracy to bury Brad by the gurus in Ottawa, Banff and Vancouver? Creators vs. Purveyors..., our money is on the Purveyors. Read Brads latest paean to honesty in the arts (you poor naive dude).


BRAD looking young and fit on the Eastern Beaches.

RIVER AND WHID CHECK INTO REHAB.

Posted April 24, 2007.

"We have made a proactive decision to take care of our personal health," they said. "We appreciate your well wishes and ask that you please respect our privacy at this time."

A source close to the artists tells SLANDEROUS: "The MTAA twins are in a very positive frame of mind and they are looking forward to making positive changes in their live."

MTAA has been filming the thriller Karaoke DeathMatch 100, and a rep for the twins tells SLANDEROUS production has slowed down since the two entered Rehab. "We hope that when they return to their normal lifestyle, the DeathMatch will continue. We should also remind the kids not to try this at home ", an MTAA spokesman was heard saying.

NEW MEDIA SILENT OVER VIRGINIA TECH MASSACRE

Posted April 18, 2007.

None of the new media gurus have commented on the Virginia State massacre. It's hard to comprehend, but at Slanderous we have to say, and this isn't political,you really don't need guns to get through the day . It is that simple. No Handguns, no Automatics, nothing. Why are they available? Pointless and sad to the worst degree. But the Glock website is cool to the max. People hunting devices in a globally distributed network.


AT slanderous we believe that all guns should be banned. And we mean it!!!


NEUROMANCER AUTHOR, William Gibson is discovered in ARCHIVE VID!

Posted April 14, 2007.

Author of Neuromancer, and voice for a generation of New Media Artists has been discovered in an archived video at CBC Television. The new footage impacts the authors history, it is dated from 1967, not 1968, and as he strolls Yorkville (Toronto) he shows the attitude that would later influence the cyber era. Earlier accounts had him landing north of the border a full year later. At Slanderous we do our research!

TOO hot to handle!!! we like his younger video, when he was altruistic and full of love. was he just a hippie at heart when he found the digerati?

CARY PEPPERMINT DISCOVERS MAX HERMAN IN BEDROOM CLOSET!

Posted April 12, 2007.

Cary Peppermint stood frozen in his tracks. After returning from a quiet night out with friends, Peppermint strolled into his bedroom only to find the larger than life Max Herman occupying his closet. "He just kept uttering the same thing in Ancient Greek, I was totally freaked!" said a startled and obviously traumatized Peppermint.
Our sources tell us the Genius 2000 creator was just looking in on his old classmate. " I thought it would be nice to surprise him, I guess I went a little overboard...I should have phoned ahead." an apologetic Herman later stated.


Was MAx in the right place at the wrong time?

 

CHARLEMAGNE PALESTINE ENCOUNTERS THE EASTER BUNNY!

Posted April 7, 2007.

Charlemagne Palestine and his other half Aude, were surprised, and shocked to find the legendary Easter Bunny on their mantle in Brussels. The same bunny had showed up at Christmas. Is the founder of trance being stalked by an overzealous icon of the commercial degradation and repercussion of the Last Supper? According to Charlemagne " Vat doom YOOU Propose VE DOOOO ?". We suggest ordering his music from Amazon. Music to Evolve with

Was the bunny just reacting to Palestine's earlier work
Music for Big Ears?

Is this a "big ear vendetta" or just a show of support?
We will keep all of you abreast of the latest news at slanderous.


Is this the rabbit we are all waiting for? According to Aude the furry thing has been hanging around the studio since MAy. "We feed it and offer it clothing, but it's so weird, it never says a word?


PATRICK LICHTY SUBMITS TO ORLAN SURGERY IN THE HEART OF NEW ORLEANS GHETTO

Posted March 31, 2007.

Net Artist Patrick Lichty was caught up in a voodoo moment during a walk through in the deviated suburbs of New Orleans. The East Coast is the intellect of America, the West Coast is it's libido, but New Orleans is the Lust that drives the Nation.
As Patrick was walking through his home town, a gaggle of zombies grabbed him, he gave no resistance. Lying prostrate on their sacrificial altar Lichty was heard shouting, "Ye s.. yes... Man... yes". Stupefied by his groaning authorities decided to invade Iran.

Here is Patrick in happier times when he was working for the Yes Men. What happened America? When you lost your lust you lost everything.

CORY ARCANGEL STEALS THE SHOW! (but gets arrested!)

Posted March 29, 2007.
Internet and New Media Star Cory Arcangel was arrested by the FBI today. The exact charges are now on public record. Apparently Arcangel had graduated from stealing code to stealing the work of living artists. It all began after his talk at Columbia in 2004.
"I'm dismayed but nor surprised" said Rhizome founder Mark Tribe. Those Rhizomers who follow the artbase can relax for the time being.
"That won't stop Cory", said an excited T. Whid/M. River (see below), "They have wireless in there don't they?". It's a slow burn for the rising star, but we know he will get over this bump in the road.

Bail is set at $50.00.

New York City Police acting on behalf of the fbi, handcuff the aesthetic kleptomaniac in front of a Chelsea bar. has cory stolen anything from you? you can steal it back, he doesn't mind. but that's not cool cory.

M.RIVER AND T.WHID UNDER THE KNIFE!!!

Posted March 22, 2007.
M.River and T.Whid, the two artists who make MTAA work have undergone a major operation!

The two stars of the internet underground have been joined together on the body of a female weight lifter who died after lifting a tray full of leaden Pina Coladas. The weight lifter, who remains anonymous had donated her organs to the Center for Transplant Genetic Research.
When the two net-stars heard the body was available they jumped at the chance to get closer together.

"It's a dream come true, now whenever I look to my side, I see my partner smiling back at me!" declared T.Whid.

M. River was overheard saying, " We gave up a pair of hands for a lifetime together..all in all a great trade-off. Now we can share everything".


Here we see the close up of the two cavorting on the beach at Coney Island. Will they keep the body in great shape? Enquiring minds...
According to sources eduardo Kac was heard muttering "I wish I had thought of that.."

 

US Attorney Terry Flynn embroiled in Sex Charges

Posted March 12, 2007.
US Attorney Terry Flynn watches as his career goes down the tubes. Was the Attorney for the US Government really being honest when he stated that the pending trial for Steve Kurtz was an " idiots dilemma"?

While the fav of soon to be deposed Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales looked upbeat at the pretrial hearing for the ludicrous charges levied against Steve Kurtz, aids tell us he is sweating buckets.

"Terry has to get his own house in order before he continues with this witch hunt" according to an an unnamed aide.

Apparently Flynn has been linked to biologic morphed human embryos that do his every bidding. According to Stanford Bio Tech experts Flynn has been having unprotected sex with petrie dishes and malformed human experiments! Will Flynn go down with the rest of the GOP legal arm? Enquiring minds will stay tuned.

 

Terry Flynn tells us he hates humanists, esp steves dad!!

STEVE : THE SEQUEL! REALITY SHOW BASED ON LIFE AS A SINGLE DAD!

Posted March 8, 2007.
Call it "Me and my Son"! Steve Read is pitching a new reality show based on his current situation - a clueless bachelor father with a fully grown twin son! Will Marisa line up for a Cameo?

While his supportive significant other remains in rehab after a monumental drug and booze meltdown, Read is hawking a reality show that focuses on his life as a single dad and estranged husband of an out-of-control net art star.

"Steve is ready for his second '15 minutes of fame,'" a source tells The ENQUIRER. "This time he wants to focus the cameras on his personal life as he assumes responsibility for his son. And he's not wasting any time getting the spotlight back on himself.

we will be posting pix of Steve breast feeding his new baby soon...

MARISA FUELS RECONCILIATION REPORTS WITH WEDDING BAND!!!

Posted March 2, 2007.
Marisa Olsen stepped out for an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting Wednesday night wearing a band on her wedding ring finger, fueling rumors she is reconciling with estranged partner Francis Hwang.

The artist left the Promises Treatment Center in Malibu, Calif., for her first supervised outing.

Despite the couple's rocky marriage, a source close to Hwang tells Us Weekly that once Olsen recovers, "Francis wants to get back together with her.

"He is her biggest supporter."

On February 24, just three days after the star checked into rehab, Hwang, Olsen's mother Lynne dropped by the facility for a two-hour visit.

The source adds, "It was a very emotional and happy family moment."

Here's Marisa's finger, her belly, hands etc.. We have documents to prove everything!!!

MARISA SHAVES HER LOCKS!

Posted February 21, 2007.

Former American Idol hopeful and new media editor at large Marisa Olsen was captured by our super staff of reporters shaving the long blonde locks from her near perfect head! The Yul Brenner wannabee had no words for the press. "Leave me alone, I have a life to live and I want to do it sans cheveux!". We were horse whipped but slanderous amnaged to get ahold of the shaved locs, scissors and coffee cup Marisa left behind! When exiting rehab we caught the new media macven off guard, quietly she cinfided that she was feeling a little out of touch...

Not the most flattering picture but there she is in all her shining spendour! what a coif!!!

LEE WELLS CLAIMS PATERNITY IN THE ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEBACLE

Posted February 17, 2007

In the short history of slanderous we've bent pretty low. But now we are mining depths even we find disturbing. In a brief presented in Miami Daig County court docket 3, Marvin Prokhammer, the lawyer for NET ARTIST Lee Wells, has filed a paternity motion with the courts regarding parental rights to now deceased Anna Nicole Smith's newly born daughter,Dannie Lynn Hope. Mr. Prokhammer was short and to the point, "My client has rights, and we will be pursuing these rights all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary!". The judge acting on the case had no comment, but his aid was overheard saying "Now the truth is coming out, we can't wait to hear what Howard K. Stern has to say".


Father in hiding? Or just another misunderstood attempt at money laundering!

ALEX GALLOWAY SPOTS NEW JERSEY DEVIL!!

Posted February 12, 2007

It all started early Sunday morning, February 11, 2007. Alex Galloway, founder of Rhizome , saw a creature with glowing eyes flying down the street. On Fire Island, , NY , John Mcowen heard and saw the strange creature over Ocean Beach. Patrol James Sackville fired at the creature as it flew away screaming. E.W. Minister, Postmaster, also saw a bird-like creature with a horses head that had a piercing scream. When daylight came, the residents of Fair Harbour found hoof prints in the snow. Two local trappers said they had never seen tracks like those before. Why has the strange creature moved to a new state? many questions remain unanswered.


Authorities claim that Galloway's sighting was a hoax, but according to the Rhizome founder "I know what I saw"

IS LAUREN CORNELL IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Posted February 09, 2007

Word on the street has Lauren Cornell, editor and chief whatsit @ rhizome enamoured with a the panda Tai Shan.

What can ever come of this relationship? Keep your fingers and legs crossed...


She looks happy we think, but what is the Panada thinking? Sounds like a science project to us.

STEVE READ TELLS ALL, (read about Steve's harrowing experience)

Posted February 07, 2007

From our exclusive interview with Steve:
Joe Edit (editor of slanderous dot org) : "Tell the audience Steve how it all began"
Steve Read (New Media Artist) : "This is my first time having a baby brother. It all started with this terrible swelling in my head."
Joe Edit: "Thats sounds awful Steve, please continue."
Steve Read :" The swelling got bigger and bigger, and then all of a sudden it began to descend downward, through my neck and esophagus, into my stomach eventually. "
Joe Edit:
"Weren't your parents concerned? How did it affect you over time? When did you realize something was wrong?"
Steve Read : " There the swelling grew for years, larger and larger, like a pregnancy, until finally by searching on google I came to realize it might be a person inside of me."
Joe Edit : "Was that a special moment Steve?"
Steve Read (shaking his head): " (I thought) How eerie, since I am a man. The newest google search engine was able to see right into my body like an ultrasound, indexing my stomach, ass, and all, and so the search results led me to believe this was a twin brother inside me. He was like a parasite brother though, stealing all my food. I was pissed, so I went to the doctor and got him taken out right away. Now my brother (Stephen Reid) is my art slave and he sits at my computer all day writing code for me. In fact, he is right now writing this post as an assignment. It will take him years to work off the money from all the food and beer he stole from me. I've been very busy lately doing interviews with people like Oprah, Terry Gross, and Madeline Limbaugh (Rush Limbaugh's twin sister). Its been a wild ride!"
Joe Edit: "Gosh Steve, thats some story, we sure hope it all works out for you. Thanks for your time, and thank your brother too. Or are you actually your brother?"

Here's Steve and his new brother Steve in the studio, You can see he has the poor kid working on projects while he relaxes for the camera.

OPERATION HITS TERENCE KOH BELOW THE MONEY BELT

Posted February 03, 2007

New Media darling Terence Koh recently went in for a needless vasectomy, (we have no idea what he was thinking!). But the big surprise came a few days after the operation when he noticed that not only was he sterile, he was badly constipated. His underwear sales have plummeted and the final figures aren't in, be expect much lower first quarter earnings for the robe clad ritualist.

In Koh's immersive, typically monochromatic environments -- in which minimalist and baroque aspects of his sensibility vie for dominance -- a seemingly unknown ritual is about to take place, where a sense of loss simultaneously suggests regeneration.

RUTH CATROW'S RITUAL TAKES AN UGLY TURN

Posted February 03, 2007

Ruth Catrow's net art work ,Proposal for the Galapagos TortoiseMessagingNetwork, being executed on the Net Behaviour artists listserv took a sad turn. Turtles began falling of the edge of the network and were last seen plummeting into the void. The artist denies culpability but here at slanderous we think someone should take responsibility.

Does this turtle deserve to fall off the face of virtual planet? You decide!

MAN GIVES BIRTH TO TWIN BROTHER

Posted January 19, 2007

According to our sources, who are 99% reliable, Steve Read has given birth to his own twin brother! How is that possible? According to our medical expert, Read had been carrying the twin for at least 20 years. Unknown to him was the nature of that swelling in his lower abdominal cavity. Is Truth stranger than fiction? Just ask Steve! (see the pix on the sidebar)

Giving birth for a man can be painfull, esp. when that man is Steve Read..

Joy War

Posted January 16, 2007

At slanderous we are usually pissed off at every media event. The JOY WAR however brings us to a new, understated place.
Elsewhere the arguing was bitter...
while Pall kept insisting "No, it was Alexis Turner that quit Rhizome" more ...

Joy ponders the state of nation, the war and other net worked issues. What is she thinking? Enquiring minds have the heads up.

LAUREN CORNELL MELTDOWN AS FRANCIS HWANG PARTIES WITH BOOZING BUDDIES

Posted January 14, 2007

The 10-year marriage of Net Art superstars Lauren Cornell and Francis Hwang has hit a rough patch because of Francis' hard-partying ways, sources say....


Lauren worries over Francis and the state of the Rhizome community. Is she cute though? We think she has charisma.

'VIEW' TO A KILL! PATRICK MAY TOLD: DUMP MARISA OLSON!

Posted January 13, 2007

Patrick May is under pressure to boot Marisa Olson from "Rhizome" in the wake of Marisa's recent public face-off with Abe Lincoln, say sources....


Christina McPhee in a pose we are sure she hoped was lost.

NEWSFLASH!!!

PARIS: Jean Baudrillard, French philosopher and social theorist known for his provocative commentaries on consumerism, excess and what he said was the disappearance of reality, died Tuesday, his publishing house said . He was 77.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH STILL DEAD!!!

Posted March 1, 2007.

Not really a story, but it's a grabber!!! The dead body of Anna Nicole Smith remains inactive. We have reports that her lawyer attempted Mary Shelly surgery, but she remains deceased. In our editorial scrum, we came to the conclusion that any woman who would sleep with an 87 yr old man, and bear the child of Za Za Gabor's husband Prince Idiot, is after all, better off dead.

KURT VONNEGUT DEAD AT 84

Posted April 14, 2007.

Our fav American, and he wrote good stuff too. Speechless.
from CNN "Kurt Vonnegut, the satirical novelist who captured the absurdity of war and questioned the advances of science in darkly humorous works such as "Slaughterhouse-Five" and "Cat's Cradle," died Wednesday. He was 84."

'VIEW' TO A KILL! PATRICK MAY TOLD: DUMP MARISA OLSON!

Posted January 13, 2007

Patrick May is under pressure to boot Marisa Olson from "Rhizome" in the wake of Marisa's recent public face-off with Abe Lincoln, say sources....

N.N. ADDICTED TO OXYCONTIN


A deeply depressed Nenotchka Nezvarova has become addicted to the dangerous painkiller OxyContin, say sources.

Reeling from the sudden shelving of her controversial new book, the disgraced net star has plummeted into a hellhole of heavy boozing, drug abuse and insane jealousy.

Micheal Spazkowski comes to the aid of depressed videophiles...

Max Herman a vision in Tafetta

Eric Dymond..., still alive and posting, sources tell us his pet boar has flown the coup! Contact me.

Cory Arcangel ..., angel in the bedroom? Not according to his family friend George ...